Something Uplifting: No Big Game Hunting!

Spoiler: This season has not been a cheerful one for the majority of Oiler fans. I'm sure those masochists who like seeing the team lose every year are loving it. (That should probably be a link)

I have decided it is time to read something uplifting about the team. Lord knows I need it, I recently had a conversation with someone where I said I was jealous that Ted Danson's character in Bored To Death was being forced to go to a rehab facility in Arizona. Think about it a couple weeks in a nice temperature, people looking after you, making you food, telling you to take naps etc. No computer, no phone, it would actually be pretty relaxing. No drinking for two weeks? No problem. The only awful part would be eventually having to leave, and all that stupid group $hit.

Anyway I was writing about something.... here is part one of my five part or however many I feel like doing, Something Uplifting. Enjoy.

No Big Game Hunting!

Originally I had planned on doing a blog post comparing a team comprising of only 2011 UFA eligible players and then talk about if I thought that team could beat the Edmonton Oilers. After a quick look I decided that would be boring, absolutely a 2011 UFA team would beat the Oilers. Sometimes though when you look through a bag of garbage you find that one half eaten croissant and it tastes pretty good.

There are no real big fish this year that the Oilers can go for this offseason. Let me start by saying I am not one of those fans that gets pissed off when the Oilers go big name hunting because that player doesn't fit with the team or will cost too much money etc. What does piss me is when the Oilers pursue a player, hype me up on the player, and then do not get him. Waste of my time, which is not valuable (I spent almost a half an hour today making funny faces at myself in a mirror), but is time nonetheless.

Won't be happening this year though. A quick glance at the list will show you no real desirable big name free agents. Yes yes Brad Richards is at the top but I fully expect him to re-sign in Dallas so he doesn't count.

Looks like it will be a stress free no big name hunting summer for Oiler fans. The draft will come and go, maybe a small trade will be made, and hopefully some lower tier free agents are signed and they work out better than they did this season. Had I known I would have the story of Kurtis Foster's broken leg forced on me like a scene from A Clockwork Orange on a weekly basis I never would have cheered about the Oilers signing him.

There are a few smaller guys who did catch my interest, and it looks like the Oilers will have cap space and roster room, most of the bottom half of the roster is RFA or UFA. I won't talk goalies even though there are some interesting ones (Josh Harding). The Oilers are full at that position for now.

DA LIST:

Eric Brewer - This one is more sentamntal than organizational need. I was a big Brewer fan before the team traded him for he who cannot be named.

Ian White - The guy is 26 and actually knows how to move the puck. He's not having a great season and currently makes just under $3 million. Plus wouldn't it be nice to see him succeed as an Oiler after he was moved by the Flames?

Chuck Kobasew - Could be a nice addition for the bottom two lines. The guy has speed, but really that's about all he has. I can't see him getting a raise, he is currently paid  $2.33 million by the Wild.

Scottie Upshall - Edmonton guy, I think, but I don't really see him leaving the desert anytime soon. The guy is the perfect patch player, he can play in all situations. Mac T would have given anything for a player like Upshall.

Mark Stuart - Good young D-man from the Bruins organization. He'd probably be the #1 on this team right now, given the injury situation.

Joel Ward - Think of him as another Ryan Jones, he is even playing in Nashville (click this you won't be disappointed, raer). The guy can hit and skate and gives 100%, he has 3rd or 4th line written all over him.

Curtis Glencross - Maybe we can steal him back from Calgary? That would probably feel nice.

Aaron Voros - Tough customer, and played well in New Jersey and New York before becoming expendable this year in Anaheim. Could be a nice replacement for the Stortini's and Jaques of the world.

Andy Greene - A New Jersey D-man he can play defence despite being on that awful team, he is also alright on the offensive front.

Zenon Konopka - Allows us to cut ties with Steve MacIntyre who I just don't really see a need for. Also he is actually really good at winning face-offs.

Next time, we eat the NHL.

Taylor Made 4 Oilers or My Lamest Title Yet

Hall enjoying his seat minutes before the Rexall Place staff tell him to remove his feet

By Dan Moser 

It was leaked earlier today by Dave Mitchell of CTV that future rookie phenom Taylor Hall will in fact wear the number 4 in the coming season. At first glance this probably looks like another September non-story and another silly Oilers fluff piece from me. At second glance that is definietly the case. Here at Oiler Spill though we are going to treat this as an important piece of news that requires your attention. Also, since we know you are a loyal reader, you are obviously aware that this is post #4, so it's going to be about the jersey #4, ya dig? So stop listening to your favourite summer jam from the past and focus on this stunning and informative breaking news.

Taylor Hall showing off the limbo skills that got him drafted first overall

 It was leaked earlier today by Dave Mitchell of CTV that future rookie phenom Taylor Hall will in fact wear the number 4 in the coming season. As we all know, the last Oiler of significance to wear the number 4 was current President of Hockey Operations Lowetide Kevin Lowe. For most teams we'd probably say this is not a move really worth reporting, but for the Oilers, this marks a major organizational philosophy shift.

For years now, pretty much since 1990, Oiler fans have been guilty of living somewhat in the past. I know I know it's a hard pill to swallow for most fans, especially when Flames fans have been saying that for years. Giving Kevin Lowe's number 4 to the new face of the franchise means as an organization the Oilers are now looking to the future instead of the past. Don't get me wrong the past is important, and the Oilers have a rich tradition. I just think it is time to start looking forward instead of backward and this number switch is a great opportunity for that to start. Also on a similar note, we are sick of current and future players being compared to former Oiler greats, it's just not fair.

Taylor Hall does not believe in head trauma

As much as I'd (We're having a lot of trouble with this I vs we stuff!) like to see Kevin Lowe's jersey number retired (Oilers first NHL draft pick, scored first NHL goal in franchise history, 5 cups, former Captain, most games played as an Oiler) I would prefer to see a double retirement in 20 years.

You're not in Calgary anymore, please straighten your hat

Other interesting facts about the number 4:

• 4 pieces come in a King-Size Twix
• Jared Paull wears the #4
• Furthermore watch out for his deadly toe-drag
• Jared has an autographed photo of another #4, Lowe, with his phone number on it. It's a good story.
• I drafted Brett Favre in my fantasy football pool, he wears #4
• This is the fourth blog posting to appear on this site
• A rejected title for the comedic romp The Number 23 was in fact The Number 4
• The next Mighty Ducks movie will be the fourth in the series. (About as likely as _____)
• Apparently, some guy named Bobby Orr wore the number 4 back when he played. Weird.

To be perfectly honest, we are just happy that Hall is not going to be wearing 44. Ever since that unfortunate incident (you know which one) that number has haunted Oiler fans.

This is the fourth picture of a Taylor to appear in this post

On a totally unrelated note, do you like the Calgary Flames? Hmmm scratch that. Do you like reading about the Calgary Flames occasionally? This dude writes about the good and the bad, and his sarcasm is so strong it actually leaps out of your monitor, or phone, and slaps you in the face. Big shout out to Dick over at The Lighter Side of Fire. I read his shit and you should too, otherwise "they" win.