Expertise

There are very few people I consider to be experts. This is probably because I have a Political Science Degree and therefore the complex to go along with it. Nevertheless two such people I believe to be experts are TSN's hockey god, Bob McKenzie, and current Kable Town executive John Francis "Jack" Donaghy (for extra credit I'll also say this guy is an expert in the field of music that I'm not cool enough to listen to).

On to the purpose of this post. Years ago when the giant Andrew Sutton played for a now forgotten hockey club, he once asked a reporter in a ill advised post game scrum if the reporter was an expert due to footage he saw during the game, and more specifically during a replay of a borderline body check performed by Sutton. Doesn't ring a bell?

Was the reporter an expert? Probably not, his name is not mentioned in the first paragraph of this blog post.

Andy Sutton however is an expert, an expert in violent hockey hits, some which have caused him to be hurt financially. Come with me as we take a look at some of the more notable "highlights" of this career in expertise.

Sid is lucky the Pens already played the Oilers

First let's take a look at some proof that Andy Sutton can be an effective clean yet devastating NHL hitting machine:

Could some of those hits be called charging? Yeah probably, but charging is one of those subjective hockey calls. Is Any Sutton a predator on the ice? Yes, but there is nothing wrong with that in a physical game like hockey, as long as he is able to hit cleanly and not hurt his team by taking penalties, or by being suspended, which has happened more than a few times over his career. 

Let's take a look at some of the dirty hits now which have caused Mr. Sutton to get a stern talking to, and watch a few games from the press box:

Saw the number, drilled Pascal Dupuis head first into the end boards. Looks like Dupuis may have been knocked out and is lying in a pool of his own blood too for good measure. Sutton received 2 games.

The incident that sparked the expert interview. No suspension for this hit, though it probably would have been this year. May have targeted the head, may have gotten the elbow up a bit, I'm no expert. Were this hit to take place in the regular season it may have been suspension worthy, in the past the NHL has made it clear it won't suspend players in the playoffs unless it is absolutely necessary.

That brings us to this season, take it away Brendan Shanaban:

Pretty cut and dry there, Sutton almost only hit him in the head. Most interesting part of the video is that Shanahan mentions Sutton has been fined in the past. Fines the don't include a suspension do not have to be disclosed to the public. Further digging has uncovered that Sutton has been fined over SEVEN times for on ice incidents. That is fairly significant.

Fast forward, Sutton misses his 5 games, is force to donate some of that sweet $2.125 million contract to the NHL Player Emergency Fund, and he's back on the ice. I can't remember what happens next....

Sometime during his first shift of the game, which I was lucky enough to attend, I turned to my buddy and said "Every time Sutton is on the ice I get a feeling that something dirty is going to happen."

That night Sutton's stat line read: 1 assist, 2 minutes for boarding, 2 minutes for boarding, 5 minutes for fighting, totaling 9 minutes in penalties in just over 18 minutes of ice-time. Sutton was a +2 and has given the 3rd Star by TSN. Of course that doesn't the "clean" hits including a knee on Eric Staal in the first period that resulted in Staal receiving an unsportsmanlike penalty and his devastating third period open ice hit on Jeff Skinner which I cannot find video footage of. It is interesting to point out though that although the hit was deemed clean, Jeff Skinner has not played since and is out with an "undisclosed injury." Read into that what you will.

The big talking point from that game though, since the Oilers really shat the bed, was Sutton's second boarding penalty. Again let's turn to an expert in his own right, Brendan Shanahan:

The Oilers did not make Sutton available for interviews after the game. Probably the wisest decision that club has made since signing Corey Potter in the offseason (I thought about saying since they kept RNH in the show but come on, that was a gimmie!)

Recently Sutton has opened his mouth about the incident to say how he feels the system is not doing him any favours. While he may or may not be right about the suspension hearing system in the NHL, he is certainly not doing himself any favours by coming out with quotes like this following suspensions:

This one released through the Oilers after recieving 5 games for the Landeskog hit: "I have been informed of and understand the League's decision, however, I had no intention of delivering an illegal check.  For 14 years, I've always played the game with respect and integrity and I will continue to do so when I return."

And this one released without club censorship following his current 8 game ban for the above hit: “They make their decisions and unfortunately you have to live with them. I really don’t have much recourse in any way shape or form...” 

Obviously the public isn't privy to these discipline hearings, but I doubt these quotes and Sutton's obvious violent history will help him during his next hearing. And there WILL be a next hearing.

Sutton's 8 game suspension makes him next available to the Edmonton Oilers on December 31st, when the Oilers play one of Sutton's old teams,  the New York Islanders.

Oiler Spill Podcast: Season 2, Episode 2: Greg The Dentist

Sup peeps.

This week my guest is the world renowned 0-2 sports specialist Greg The Dentist.

We talk NHL Preseason even though it doesn't interest me, then quickly switch gears to the NBA labor dispute and a NFL Week 3 Preview.

We then take a look at Fantasy Football in the first of many Fantasy Focus segments brought to you by our friends at the EJHL.

Enjoy!

If you want to contribute in anyway to the Oiler Spill Podcast, with questions, comments, anger, or if you think you should be a guest or want to contribute financially send me an e-mail dmoser2@gmail.com or tweet me.

Otherwise enjoy this bear cubs video:

Jersey's are Cool

Greeting sports fans!

It's been a relativly boring NHL offseason but I was recently inspired by this tweet by NBC Hockey Blogger Joe Yerdon

If you're too lazy, lord knows I am, the point is that he included this picture of a rack containing all of his hockey "jersey's" (does calling them sweaters make me a hockey hipster? arg, I liked jersey's before they were cool...) :

It just so happens that we at Oiler Spill also have an idiot that spends too much money on hockey swag. So since the offseason is boring, and if you want to read some blog post about how nice of a guy Kris Draper was you can visit any other site, we will be featuring a new jersey and story behind the jersey for the rest of the summer. 

Dan: This is the Oilers jersey I wore for most of the Oilers Stanley Cup run of 2006. I think I may have let my girlfriend at the time wear it too. I commemorated that by adding the Stanley Cup patch to it. No name on the back, had to buy into the Oilers playoff philosophy obviously of team first etc etc (ed note: turns out there was one player who put himself ahead of the team.... what was his name again..... oh well). I guess it is important to note that I did not wear this jersey when I travelled to Carolina for Game 7. I went with white because I wanted to match the team. The white jersey is gone know, all of my white jersey's were stolen back in 2008 or 2009 with my hockey bag out of my brother's garage. Too bad so sad.

What is there besides Dressing Room Access???

The pin was a gift from the anonymous hockey blogger Eklund who I met in an Airport on my way to Carolina, possibly Atlanta or Calgary, I can't remember. He also gave me a 2006 Stanley Cup Playoff statistics guide, I have no clue where that is. I may have pawned it for Mcflurry money. 

I bought the jersey back in 2003/04 when I worked at Bata Athletes World. We were selling them super cheap for the Heritage Classic, my friend Eyton Landin bought a Habs one. Interesting side note, by boss at Athletes World who often would tell us stealing from the store was stealing from his family and hurting his ability to provide for them was terminated after it was uncovered he was doing fake returns on his credit card. Idiot.

An Old Yet New Eulogy For Your Edmonton Oilers

Editors note: I forgot I had a blog there for a while, to be fair the Oilers forgot how to play hockey for while, so we'll call it even (pause for laughter). This "eulogy" was written back in October, before the season started because I knew eventually the season would end, and I thought it would be fun. Commentary has been added in parentheses and the links are all current and updated like this one. Enjoy!

An Oilers Eulogy. Or, There Are No Surprises in Alberta

By Dan Moser

Well the season is over, and boy was it fun. I know it's not actually over, we are at game 70 but the Oilers have clinched 30th place so the season is over for them (close but not perfect). Let's be serious though, other than that brief bright spot in the middle of the season (well, the first game of the season), and the play of the rookies, this season has once again made me forget what NHL hockey in Edmonton looks like. Oh well, here comes another first overall draft pick. I hope Adam Larrson looks good in orange and blue (wouldn't be shocked to see Ryan Nugent-Hopkins picked, either way). Let's get onto it!

Forwards

Another year, another statistically disappointing year from the forwards. Once again Dustin Penner, who hit 30 goals again, and Ales Hemsky, before his injury, have proven they are the only Oiler veterans that can score consistently (If you claim you saw Ryan Jones coming you are lying). The Oilers continue to have a huge problem down the middle, Shawn Horcoff has been consistently Shawn Horcoff, and I'm pretty sure I could win a faceoff against Andrew Cogliano.

Let's try and be positive for a second though, The five games the team got out of Gilbert Brule were alright. Sam Gagner has emerged a very poor team's number one centre (I had hoped). Jean Francios Jaques has come out of his shell, played a mostly injury free season and looks to be an effective energy player (sigh, sorry).  

For me personally the biggest positive has come in former Stanley Cup Champion Colin Fraser who has stepped up and become a decent third line option for the Oilers. He plays with confidence and give 100% every night. His knack for defensive play and ability to win a faceoff have made him a mainstay on this team (Let's just all forget I wrote this paragraph).

The Rookies

Taylor Hall. Taylor Hall. Taylor Hall. The kid has skill and proved it, don't be shocked to see him step and and receive that Calder Trophy this year in Vegas (I'll blame the injury). Before the season began I often said he was the most NHL ready player on the team and boy was I right. Leading an NHL team in scoring as an 18 year old (Do you think Taylor Hall knows what POGS are?) is no easy feat, and I cannot wait to see him continue to improve and grow next season. Also despite being an Oiler, the kid just does not know how to stay down or get hurt (close). I might even buy a jersey.

Jordan Eberle has also had a great season. He hit the 20 goal mark, which is fantastic, and just think of what might have happened had he not gotten hurt late in the year (almost right). Eberle is a sniper, he scores amazing goals and has a great shot, his defensive game could use some work though.

Although he was billed to possibly be the best of the rookie, Magnus Paajarvi has had some struggles. This season was about learning the North American game for him and he is well on his way. Personally I wouldn't mid seeing him at center or possibly playing the point on the powerplay (check). His skating ability and size make him an option at both these spots.

Defence

Ryan Whitney was the bright spot this season, of course that was before his season ending knee injury (did I get that one? Was it the knee?). He is a great number two in this league and will continue to be the focal point of this back end unless a trade is made in the offseason.

Kurtis Foster was, well pretty much what we all expected. His point totals took a hit from last season, seen Stamkos? Also I can't believe he ever played on Minnesota the way he is in his own zone what oh well, you get what you pay for, At least he has that shot that has made us forget about Souray (err umm, yeah...)! Seriously though, if I have to here about his old icing injury again that's it I'll never say another nice thing about him.

Theo Peckham has been physical, which has been a nice change of pace, and Jeff Petry looks like he might be ready to play full time. Smid is the same player as he was when he was traded to Edmonton.

Tom Gilbert was out of place on this team as a number two, but the way he has played since being traded has been great for him. A change of scenery may have been exactly what he needed. Hopefully the prospect and pick the Oilers got for him turn out to be players (I wonder how I thought Gilbert could be moved. Just change his name to Penner, same thing). 

Goaltenders

This season the Oilers goaltenders didn't win them games, but they didn't cost them games either. When a team can't score, the only way they'll win is by shutout. The Oilers need some fresh goaltending stat. 

Injuries

Sure the Oilers didn't have the most man games lost this year, but the players they lost were almost all of a significant nature. Despite the great season he was having, Ales Hemsky once again had to shut down his season early because of his wonky shoulder (I thought it would be the same shoulder he hurt last season, not the other one!). Injuries to both Gagner and Horcoff made the Oilers even weaker down the middle, and with the amount of games Brule played this season, it was easy to forget he was an Oiler.

Penner and Cogliano may have played the whole season, but really with the amount of games they didn't show up for, you could just call them injured too.

Whitney, Vandermeer and Smid (close enough) all went down as well forcing the Oilers to once again call on rookies on defence who were not ready to play the NHL paced game.

Next Year

It's probably too early to call it, you know with free agency and what not, but right now the Oilers will not make the playoffs next year. There better be some improvement though, anyone remember what meaningful hockey in March feels like?

Well, at least Calgary didn't make the playoffs either (bingo).




Check out the link below for a pretty cool radio show featuring Brett Hart. If you claim you don't like the Hitman you are lying plain and simple.

The Official Oiler Spill Podcast: Episode Al Hamilton

ANNNNNNNNNND welcome to the next edition of the Official Oiler Spill Podcast

My guest in this edition is Edmonton Oilers super fan Lee Tappenden.

Lee is a rarity right now on the internet, he is a fan who speaks about the team he loves without cynicism. The guy truly just wants to see the team win, and to be honest it is refreshing to hear him talk about the team.

We discuss all aspects of the Oilers including trade rumours (Spoiler alert: I recently spoke to someone connected to the Thrashers franchise and Mr. Zach Bogosian is not going anywhere anytime soon!) and even the Oilers Octane cheer team, and how I offended one of them. Go figure! What else? The Oilers powerplay situation, most impressive player on the team, most disappointing. We talk Oilers coaches, hell we even give predictions for the coming week of Oilers hockey!



Once again, I hope you enjoyed the show, leave some comments either below this or via Twitter: @TheRealDanMoser or even send in an e-mail: dmoser2@gmail.com.

We are always looking for suggestions and new ideas.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya!

Something Uplifting: No Big Game Hunting!

Spoiler: This season has not been a cheerful one for the majority of Oiler fans. I'm sure those masochists who like seeing the team lose every year are loving it. (That should probably be a link)

I have decided it is time to read something uplifting about the team. Lord knows I need it, I recently had a conversation with someone where I said I was jealous that Ted Danson's character in Bored To Death was being forced to go to a rehab facility in Arizona. Think about it a couple weeks in a nice temperature, people looking after you, making you food, telling you to take naps etc. No computer, no phone, it would actually be pretty relaxing. No drinking for two weeks? No problem. The only awful part would be eventually having to leave, and all that stupid group $hit.

Anyway I was writing about something.... here is part one of my five part or however many I feel like doing, Something Uplifting. Enjoy.

No Big Game Hunting!

Originally I had planned on doing a blog post comparing a team comprising of only 2011 UFA eligible players and then talk about if I thought that team could beat the Edmonton Oilers. After a quick look I decided that would be boring, absolutely a 2011 UFA team would beat the Oilers. Sometimes though when you look through a bag of garbage you find that one half eaten croissant and it tastes pretty good.

There are no real big fish this year that the Oilers can go for this offseason. Let me start by saying I am not one of those fans that gets pissed off when the Oilers go big name hunting because that player doesn't fit with the team or will cost too much money etc. What does piss me is when the Oilers pursue a player, hype me up on the player, and then do not get him. Waste of my time, which is not valuable (I spent almost a half an hour today making funny faces at myself in a mirror), but is time nonetheless.

Won't be happening this year though. A quick glance at the list will show you no real desirable big name free agents. Yes yes Brad Richards is at the top but I fully expect him to re-sign in Dallas so he doesn't count.

Looks like it will be a stress free no big name hunting summer for Oiler fans. The draft will come and go, maybe a small trade will be made, and hopefully some lower tier free agents are signed and they work out better than they did this season. Had I known I would have the story of Kurtis Foster's broken leg forced on me like a scene from A Clockwork Orange on a weekly basis I never would have cheered about the Oilers signing him.

There are a few smaller guys who did catch my interest, and it looks like the Oilers will have cap space and roster room, most of the bottom half of the roster is RFA or UFA. I won't talk goalies even though there are some interesting ones (Josh Harding). The Oilers are full at that position for now.

DA LIST:

Eric Brewer - This one is more sentamntal than organizational need. I was a big Brewer fan before the team traded him for he who cannot be named.

Ian White - The guy is 26 and actually knows how to move the puck. He's not having a great season and currently makes just under $3 million. Plus wouldn't it be nice to see him succeed as an Oiler after he was moved by the Flames?

Chuck Kobasew - Could be a nice addition for the bottom two lines. The guy has speed, but really that's about all he has. I can't see him getting a raise, he is currently paid  $2.33 million by the Wild.

Scottie Upshall - Edmonton guy, I think, but I don't really see him leaving the desert anytime soon. The guy is the perfect patch player, he can play in all situations. Mac T would have given anything for a player like Upshall.

Mark Stuart - Good young D-man from the Bruins organization. He'd probably be the #1 on this team right now, given the injury situation.

Joel Ward - Think of him as another Ryan Jones, he is even playing in Nashville (click this you won't be disappointed, raer). The guy can hit and skate and gives 100%, he has 3rd or 4th line written all over him.

Curtis Glencross - Maybe we can steal him back from Calgary? That would probably feel nice.

Aaron Voros - Tough customer, and played well in New Jersey and New York before becoming expendable this year in Anaheim. Could be a nice replacement for the Stortini's and Jaques of the world.

Andy Greene - A New Jersey D-man he can play defence despite being on that awful team, he is also alright on the offensive front.

Zenon Konopka - Allows us to cut ties with Steve MacIntyre who I just don't really see a need for. Also he is actually really good at winning face-offs.

Next time, we eat the NHL.

The Official Oiler Spill Podcast: Episode Two

Hey boys and girl(s) welcome to Episode Two!

This week I sit down with all around sports expert Greg "The Dentist" Broyde. He's kinda like Bill Simmons but with out the insane love for all things Boston. We talk Superbowl, Aaron Rodgers, Ben Roethlisberger, the NBA, Blake Griffin, Kevin Durant, the Toronto Raptors, the NHL, the Edmonton Oilers, the Calgary Flames, and the NHL All-Star Game. Wow that is a lot to talk about in under 20 mins!
Enjoy!




Go Packers and leave me some feedback so I can do a better job in the future. Got ideas for guests/questions/topics? twitter: @TheRealDanMoser e-mail: dmoser2@gmail.com

Peace

The Waiving of Zack Scortini

By Dan Moser


Zack Stortini, or Scortini as he was called by his biggest fan, was a marginal player on an awful NHL team. A lot of people are going to bitch that he should have been kept while Steve MacIntyre or Jean Francois Jacques should have been let go in his place. They are wrong. It really doesn't matter when it is all said and done. These three players barely see the ice, they do not determine whether you win or lose a hockey game. They are replaceable which will be proved next season when all three are no long part of the Edmonton Oilers team.

This much analysis is too much. Move doesn't matter. It's like saying we could have traded him for something, that is silly, who would say that? Oh yeah this guy, someone actually pays him to write his crap too! Send your empties to my P.O. Box please.

This is Zack Stortini and his answers to 5 silly questions. I included the picture because I was concerned that if someone living outside of Edmonton read this post they would have no idea who this fourth line Oiler forward is.

The Chosen Podcast Ep. 3

Welcome to episode three. Some of the bigs have been worked out, length etc. Should be an enjoyable listen.

Lawrence Dushenski (@LD10) and I discuss the NHL All Star Game, have a little mock draft for fun, talk Oilers (of course), including a personal response to what I found to be a silly blog posting by one Jonathan Willis and Nabokov! WOWZA!




Post comments, tell me what you like/hate, it's the only way it will get better!

The Chosen Podcast Episode Two

Here it is for your enjoyment, the acclaimed Chosen Podcast.
If you don't listen I fear you won't know what to talk about around the water cooler tomorrow.
In other news, water coolers still exist?

The Chosen Podcast Episode One

Man I got a lot of stuff going on! This is the first episode of my brand new podcast, The Chosen Podcast, with my boy from Brock University and Edmonton Lawrence Dushenski. We talk about the Oilers, some other NHL story lines and even give you a few interesting life stories. Also be forewarned I have been sick, so my voice is not usually as sexy/nasal as it will sound in this podcast.

ENJOY!




So how was it? Please leave comments, don't be kind about them.

Nice Taylor Hall Vid

Always time to play for Chel with the kids.





In case you didn't know, Taylor Hall is a beauty.

The Forgotten Member of The Oilers Octane Cheer Team!

With the announcement of the first NHL cheer team in Canada, the Oilers Octane, the other night we at Oiler Spill noticed that when constructing the website for the team one member was left out. I assume it is an age thing; at 34 Shelly is the oldest member of the team (though not by as much as you'd think. I'm no expert but at 29 years old would you consider yourself a lifer in the cheerleading industry?). We took it upon ourselves to give Shelly her own bio page, because let's not forget, she is a member of this team too!

ABOUT SHELLY
Age: 34

Occupation/Post-Secondary program: I am a professional hockey player but unlike a lot of American Hockey League players I don't need a summer job, I make way more money than my peers ;) I'm not studying health care like most of the Octane girls, but you could say I have a lot of experience in that field, especially physical rehabilitation.

Hometown: Elk Point, AB.

Hobbies: Riding buses, punching helmets, taking slap shots, having constant, like every second, communication with team officials while I sit in a hospital bed watching old Baywatch reruns.

Why you love hockey: I guess you could say I love hockey, I mean even though I'm way better than everyone on my team I continue to play even though I know I will not be back in the NHL this season. So maybe it's not that I love hockey, it's that I like getting paid. To be honest I'm still shocked someone was willing to pay me this much ($5.4 million NBD) to play 40 games a season!

Life Lesson: Word is bond. Contracts may be guaranteed but that doesn't mean you can't find ways around them!

Favourite thing about Oil Country: I love how passionate the fans are! I mean when I first arrived they treated me like I never left since I did grow up in Oil Country, now they treat me like they never wanted me to come home. I still don't get what I did wrong :(

Dancing/Cheerleading since: Age 3

Highlights of your dance/cheer experience: Ummm definitely the 2007/08 and 2009/10 seasons. I only got to play 26 and 37 games in those seasons so that gave me a lot of time to practice and work on my moves. Oh yeah and of course making the Oilers Octane Cheer Team. Muuuuuuah!

Cool fact about Shelly: I played Junior hockey in Prince George (bbbbbrrrrrrrrr!). Me and my friend Marty own a restaurant in Montreal. I have a really hard slap shot. I was once married to a former Baywatch hottie. On December 3, 2008, the Stars' broadcast team called me a "Studly Wonderbomb," so yeah I know I'm a hottie! KTHXBYE!

Leenus Oh Leenus

Basically I am being lazy. These videos are fun and easy to make. I find the robotic voices awesome, and I think this is how the Black Eyed Peas make music now. Really the only downside is that if you watch too many of them you start to think in that voice. It is getting weird. Enjoy.



The video was getting too long but really I have no idea how Linus Omark will do when he gets some game action. Here are some other reasons I'm not too excited:

1. The guy makes Sam Gagner look like a giant
2. The only reason he is on the big club right now is because more important players are hurt
3. Some Oiler fans are using this H.O.P.E. thing where each letter stands for one of the kids names, Hall, Eberle, etc. If hope is really four rookie forwards these fans are in for a shock. For me hope includes some d-men and a goalie.

Blog over.

A Candid Conversation Between an Oilers Fan and a Flames Fan

Something I whipped up quickly.
Let's call it Shilling vs Moser V1

Opportunity Cost

By Dan Moser

Let me start by saying I hope my hiatus did not alienate my fan (that's not a typo). On to the message:

If you have taken any Econ classes or anything of that nature there are two things you should know: There is a lot of money to be made in Widgets and possibly a Widget factory and there is a hidden cost in everything you do called opportunity cost. Basically in terms I can understand, the opportunity cost is what you could be doing/spending money on instead of what are you doing/spending money on. If I got that wrong it is probably this Doctor's fault, we took Econ together.

For my triumphant return to the blogosphere I submit to you the opportunity cost of watching an Oilers' game on television. I feel like I need to add a disclaimer before I start. During my break the Oilers have been awful, and watching the games has been just as awful. The Oilers won last night, and in Ottawa no less, a place where they have not won since this picture was relevant in Senator fan's (are they real?) lives:

 

Anyway just because the Oilers won doesn't mean it was a great game and the first two periods really made me think there are a lot of programs I would much rather be watching. Also, I now have more respect for that blog dude Tyler Dellow and his site http://www.mc79hockey.com, not for the Colie Mail stuff (personal opinion alert but I think it was a little overblown). This site actually goes to the trouble of counting the Oilers' scoring chances during games. WOW. I counted one in the first two periods, but to be fair Oiler powerplays tend to put me to sleep. 

So, what I have done is given you a guide of what television I could have been enjoying instead of the Oilers Senators game. It took slightly less intelligence than what Dellow does but hey, we can't all be brilliant law learned people. Enjoy! 

I didn’t include sports or movies because obviously no one can say no to the last half of Twilight and Rear Window or Monday Night Football and a group of degenerate gamblers playing cards. I included two programs per viewing block because let's be honest in today's world of twittering, facespace, and the tubing of you, one TV show is simply not enough.

Seriously if it wasn't for people watching poker on TV for some reason I am 100% certain this guy would be down three fingers and in debt to Russian gangsters....sounds like a KHL player when I say it aloud.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 107 BITE – Arrested Development. “Good Grief”, (2004), Hors d’oeuvres accompany news of George Sr., which is kept from Buster while Gob plans an illusion to honor their father. (Comedy). 

Despite not being on the air for a number of years Arrested Development has to be one of the best shows no longer on TV. FOX cancelled it, claiming that none of the characters or situations were relatable. What the f*ck does that say about Jersey Shore? That thought brings me to an unrelated point: there is only one rule on my blog, never fall in love at the Jersey Shore.

5:30-6:00 – Shaw 13 KXLY – Seinfeld. “Pilot Episode”, (1989), A woman whom Jerry met on the road is coming to town---and wants to stay with him. Laura: Pamela Brull. (Comedy).

Not the best episode of Seinfeld but when was the last time the Oilers showed up for a first period anyway. I know some people that don't like Seinfeld, they watch Two and A Half Men. Nuff said.

 

6:00-6:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Simpsons. Matt Groening’s subversive, animated satire about Springfield’s hapless first family. (Animated Comedy).

The info on my cable box didn't mention which episode was being aired. Pick the worst episode of The Simpsons you can think of, I'll watch it three times then pawn the episode's jokes off as my own and tap my chest with two fingers while saying: "Pure Moser."

6:00-7:00 – Shaw 29 FOOD – Iron Chef America. “Morimoto vs. Symon”, (2005), Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto takes on challenger Michael Symon. (Food).

The description tells you nothing about the episode, I would bet that sarcastic fat guy that loves food is one of the judges. The guy wrote a book called The Man who Ate Everything. Even if the food is no good I guarantee he licks his plate clean. Claim you don't watch this? Liar.

BONUS! 6:00-7:00 – Shaw 25 A&E – Intervention. “Sandy”, (2009), Alcoholism and prescription-drug addiction are the topics. (Documentary).

Classic. Everyone secretly or publicly enjoys watching other people struggle to deal with their own problems. I lack traditional employment and own as many pairs of pajama pants as I do regular pants, but hey, at least I'm not addicted to crack.

6:30-7:00 – Shaw 16 KAYU – The Office. “Two Weeks”, (2009), Michaels’s relationship with the new vice president (Idris Elba) becomes more and more strained, but that doesn’t stop Michael from shirking work and responsibility even more than usual. Meanwhile, Pam falls victim to the new copier. (Comedy).

I'll watch any episode of The Office but this is a really good one. Nothing beats having to watch Rob Faulds in between periods like the creation of the Michael Scott Paper Company. 

7:00-7:30 – Shaw 16 KAYU – How I Met Your Mother. “The Bracket”, (2008), Barney tries to find the mystery woman who’s out to ruin his reputation, and he uses the basketball tournament-bracket template to eliminate 64 suspects, all of whom have reasons to hate him. (Comedy).

To be honest I don't really watch this show, but I have been told to. The title of the episode and premise sound promising and also that Neil Patrick Harris has excellent comedic timing.

Tough call for a second show for 7:00-7:30. Really though, what is worse? According to Jim (that’s right, Jim Belushi is still working), the insanely unfunny Two and A Half Men (jeez two shot at Two and A Half Men in on blog? Sorry Chuck, I owe you a drink), or a Hemsky-less Oilers' game that is being billed as a return to Ottawa for third string goaltender Martin Gerber and a return to Ottawa for Jordan Eberle who once played in a hockey tournament in Ottawa, which really begs the question of how the media will react to my return to Beaumont, AB, a place where I once played a hockey tournament. 

Red font for the sake of red font.

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 11 CJEO – The Simpsons. “Make Room for Lisa”, The Simpsons are forced to house a cellular transmitter, giving Lisa stress, while Marge hears calls through Maggie’s baby monitor. (Animated Comedy).

A weak episode but still good for a few laughs. Homer gets his head crushed by a bridge, Lisa takes a bus to the Russian district of Springfield, Marge hits Milpool with a baby monitor, some other topical stuff happens. 

7:30-8:00 – Shaw 4 CBXT – Jeopardy! The classic thinking person’s answer-and-question quiz, developed by Merv Griffin. (Game Show).

Important note: even during the on the couch edition, if you don't phrase your answers in the form of a question, you don't get the points.

If I hadn't watched The Walking Dead at 4 A.M. Monday morning I probably would have watched that twice. Keep in mind, this is really just what I would watch, some people like Chuck for some reason.

The Oilers win a game?

The Halloween Edition

By Dan Moser

In honour of Halloween, I'd like to try something that is really a throwback to my "frat" newspaper days. In case you weren't aware, on Halloween people dress up for various reasons. The idea behind this blog post is "what if the Edmonton Oilers all had to dress up as their comic book counterparts?" In other words, what comic book characters do I think match up well with individual Oilers. Before I get crazy, I can't take full responsibility for this idea. My idea came from the Guardian Project. I know that video doesn't tell you much. Basically the NHL has teamed up with comic book genius and hero to all nerds Stan Lee. Lee will be creating 30 superheros, one for each NHL team. Click here to read a bit more about the project.  

If you're still interested, here in numerical order are the Edmonton Oilers as comic book characters:

#2 Jim Vandermeer - Thing. He is a big boy, and loves to smash things. One problem, he moves around like he is made of rocks.

#4 Taylor Hall -  Superboy. Born out of death, a "gift" in the wake of Superman. He is young an unproven, no one really knows what he is thinking, but the weight of the world is on his shoulders. Is he the hero, or simply a youngster that will never live up to his name. For my sake, I have a sizable bet going on with PST Free Hockey star Richard Shilling, I hope he becomes the white knight Gotham Edmonton needs him to be.

#5 Ladislav Smid - Emma Frost. She is part of the X-Men now, a good guy, but no matter how hard you try, how hard you enjoy her wit and candor with other X-Men, it is impossible to forget her dark past (I'M TALKING ABOUT THE PRONGER TRADE!).

#6 Ryan Whitney - Storm. Billed as one of the most powerful X-Men. Second in command, definitely a leader. You can see glimpses of her power and potential, but all too often, she is the first hurt in battle, before she has time to act. Perhaps she doesn't act or think out her actions quick enough.

#10 Shawn Horcoff - Batman. He has no super powers but he gets the job done. His superhero companions (in this case the fans) often see him as a liability but Batman uses his intelligence to his advantage and contributes to the cause in his own unique way. Horcoff may not be the flashiest player, but he contributes using his speed and smarts.

#13 Andrew Cogliano - The Flash. All the speed in the world and really no idea what to do with it. Speed should be the ultimate weapon, but when it comes down to it, an outstretched leg always appears, tripping him and rendering the Flash useless. When he is on his game though, the Flash can be quite the opponent.

#14 Jordan Eberle - Spiderman. The comparison is simple, Spiderman is normally portrayed as a younger superhero, but it is his wit that makes him Jordan Eberle. Although the season is young, Eberle seems to only like to score highlight reel goals. Scoring dirty goals like that are a kin to making wise-ass remarks and always having the last word like out friendly neighbourhood Spiderman.

#16 Colin Fraser - Captain America. You always talk about Cap in the past tense, the great things he did in WWII, and how he helped win the war. No matter what he does, that is what he is known for. Remind of a certain Oiler with a large Stanley Cup ring???

#26 Kurtis Foster - Cyclops. Despite his great power and leadership capabilities, every time we see Cyclops we are reminded of his physical flaws, and inability to control his power as a result of them. This means I am sick of hearing about how Foster broke his leg every game.

#27 Dustin Penner - Henry Pym. Has the ability to grow and be that size of a giant, or shrink and be the size of an ant. He thinks and acts like he is smarter than everyone around him, and he might be.

#28 Ryan Jones - Aquaman. I know he is there, I like what he does from time to time. I'm just not sure how necessary he is. Easy to replace.

#33 Steve MacIntyre - The Hulk. Everyone knows the Hulk is a giant beast filled with anger that cannot be contained. What you may not know though is that the angrier the Hulk gets, the stronger he becomes. When you see #33's face go into anger mode, it means he is about to knock someone out.

#35 Nikolai Khabibulin - Iron Man. The Avengers are never really sure if he will show up. When he does, he is a strong team member, some say the strongest, when he doesn't show up, the team is left wondering why. He enjoys the occasional drink (cheap shot).

#38 Jeff Deslauriers & #40 Devan Dubnyk - Multiple Man. Really, these two are so close it really is a crap shoot. Pick your favorite and then stick by him. There are so many copies of Multiple Man around the league that sending one of him down shouldn't be an issue.

#43 Jason Strudwick - The Vulture. He is old and surrounds himself with younger people to absorb their youth so that he may continue to battle.

#46 Zack Stortini - Wolverine. Definitely a fan favorite. Despite his size, he never backs down from a fight. Stands up for his teammates. Brings energy and aggression but does have some character flaws. Not exactly a role model. Weapon of choice is his hands. .

#49 Theo Peckham - Luke Cage, Hero for Hire. Cage may not always make the wisest decisions, but his strength and use of brute force to get his way are undeniable.

#67 Gilbert Brule - Puck. Despite his diminutive stature, Puck is able to launch himself at his enemies with devastating force. His body at the same time is his greatest weapon and his weakness. He was also once a member of the Canadian super group Alpha Flight.

#77 Tom Gilbert - Daredevil. All of his senses are enhanced, except for his sense of sight which he lost early in life. In the case of Gilbert, he often has an amazing sense of when he should join the rush. At times he will seemingly appear a the top of an opponents crease. He may be the Oilers best puck mover on the back end, but sometimes he just plays like he is blind.

#83 Ales Hemsky - The Human Torch. When taken at face value there is not much to be in awe of when looking at Johnny Storm. Once he catches fire though beware. He can be shifty, fast, and will burn you up. Torch is prone to fancy antics that get him a lot of attention, when they work he looks amazing, when they don't he looks silly. Being overzealous and cocky sometimes puts the Torch at risk of being injured.

#89 Sam Gagner - The Phoenix/Jean Grey. You never really know which one you will get. The mild mannered Jean Grey who limits herself in order to protect others from her power, or the Phoenix, and entity of pure power. The Phoenix is a force that can destroy even the mightiest of enemies, Jean Grey, although powerful, can be defeated.

#91 Magnus Paajarvi - Thor. He is a son of Asgard (Sweden) but chooses not to live there. He could have returned but he knows, the people that really need him are in Midgard (Edmonton). He also lives by himself and is a bit of an oddball. 

On to other matters: I have yet to decide on a Halloween costume. Currently the front runners are the great State of Idaho, or my crafty alter ego, Guy Incognito.

The Oilers Flames Game From My Perspective

By Dan Moser


I'd like to start by saying first of all I don't normally do this. I'm no fan of post game blog postings. The primary reason is that I don't enjoy reading them on other sites. I tend to disagree with what bloggers see in the games and to be honest, so much of watching hockey games on television is subjective, the game can be different for everyone. Some might say that a goal was huge, other a save, others a giveaway, others a blown offside call. Honestly, if I miss a game, I'd much rather call a friend up and ask what I missed than check out some anonymous guy's blog. Also it's been a while since I wrote anything. My third and final point is that this is not really a post game review, this is a story about my experience viewing the game.

Unrelated, but I needed a picture here and I like this one.

 BACKGROUND INFORMATION: I am currently living in Toronto. Don't hate me. The house I am currently living in does not have a sports package that allows for easy viewing of all NHL games. The Internet connection in said house can be sketchy. The feed I was watching the game on was also sketchy. I purchased a Proline ticket for the night's games but did not bet on the Oilers game, that's bad luck. I work part-time as an overnight valet in a classy downtown Toronto condo, Drake has a place there, NBD, from 11:00-7:00 EST.

ONWARDS TO THE STORY: My night began at 6:00 PM EST. I awoke from my pregame nap (that's a nice way of saying I was sleeping during the day) and decided it might be fun to put some money on the games tonight. I'm usually pretty terrible, I don't think I've won since I had a friend buy me my first ticket when I was in grade 10 from the the Westmount Shopping Centre across the street from my High School. Anyway I quickly ate a light pregame dinner, got some gas, bought my ticket all before games started at 7:00 (impressed?).

Now, I watch hockey games like a lot of people watch football. I have a game or two on TV and then open the rest of them streaming on my laptop along with stattracker for my pools. This is not a recommended way of watching hockey, especially concerning whistles, I am always confused as to which game the whistle took place in, why players are stopping, and why some seem to be playing through the whistle.

I won't bore you with the details of the early games, (I made the mistake of betting on the Coyotes to win by at least 2 goals. Idiot.) let's get to the important action.

Fast forward to 9:00. I am already feeling a little dejected because of the epic fail that was the Ottawa Senators actually putting the puck in the net. I began watching the once coveted and interesting Battle of Alberta albeit with the volume low because Peter Loubardias's voice gives me a headache, I also hate it when the Flames' crew use players first names only during game action.

The first stream I am using is not great, so I try using a different stream. Once the second stream, of lower visual quality begins to work I immediately notice that the score is 1-0 for the Flames. Goal 1, missed.

It is announced the Oilers will be on the powerplay and guess what? My computer says it must close down my browser to properly install a lovely Windows update. I figure sure why not? This update will surely just make my computer a more powerful learning machine. Besides, watching an Oilers powerplay usually just makes me notice that no defenceman on the team can carry the puck at all through the neutral zone. Goal 2, missed.

With a minute to go and the Flames going on the PP again I am sure another goal is coming so I go to the washroom. Goal 3, missed. Of the whole first period that I saw, I don't think I saw the Oilers have one scoring chance, its reminiscent of the last Battle of Alberta where Telus got me so drunk I don't remember much of the game.

The intermission is a perfect time for me to take a closer look at the games that are on my ticket. Everything seems to be in order, except for that the Coyotes at this point will need to score 5 goals to make me a winner. Also, may as well play with the stream again, is wanting to watch a game illegally in great quality a crime? Don't answer that. When I get a working stream, poor quality, I am greeted by the screeching noise of Glencross scores! Goal 4, missed.

See where this is going?

Now the second frame started around 10:00, I need to get ready for work around 10:20 so I can make it in by 10:50 and ask the guy I am relieving if he minds staying a couple minutes longer so I can grab some Timmys.

If you can think of a better or healthier way to stay awake from 11-7 I'm all ears.

Once I get to work this happens:

Co-worker who drives a motorcycle (CDM): I completely forgot about the Leafs game, did you watch it?

Me: Yeah, Leafs won.

CDM: Score? How did they play? Was it good?

Me: It was a Leafs game man. They won 3-1 I think.

CDM: Uhhh how did they play?

Me: I dunno man they were playing Florida.

CDM: What does that mean?

Me: Florida is awful. The Leafs were the Leafs, Colby Armstrong left the game in the first, they were lucky Pete DeBoer didn't get the to score of Giguere you just need to make him move a little.

CDM: Who is that?

Me: DeBoer? He is the Panther's coach.

CDM: What are you watching now? Is that the Vancouver game?

Me: No. Oilers Flames. It's a s***** one though, I think the Flames are up 3-1.

CDM: Buddy, the Flames are in trouble this year.

Me: What? 4-3 when the f*** did that happen?

Goals 5, 6, 7, missed.

Just as I am getting comfortable and done being in amazement that the Oilers are in this game, a car pulls up. The only car of the night. I have to leave my post and go park said car in the deepest darkest regions of the lot. I return. Goal 8, missed.

At least it was a nice car

 Overtime was overtime. For some reason the Oilers chose not to select their statistically strongest shootout player as one of the three shooters. Oilers lose, but salvage a point they probably didn't deserve. Flames win but will likely have a wonderful puke filled no puck practice tomorrow. Happy Birthday Mikka Kiprusoff.

Hope you enjoyed this brief window into the life of an Oilers blogger. See, we don't all live in our parent's basements.

Yeah, I'm Going to Calgary

By Dan Moser

Be jealous. Last Thursday I went to the Edmonton Oilers season opener versus the Calgary Flames. There were something like 16,000 people there, you might even be one, so I understand you might not be jealous yet. I was sitting up in the press catwalk of luxurious Rexall Place. If you have the means to do so, I really suggest it. It is the best way to watch the game. You get a perfect bird's eye view of the game and you're surrounded by media "celebrities."

From Russia with glove. God I wish I came up with that

But I digress, I'm going to Calgary. I have no pull with the Flames, really it's there loss. I'll be up in the 300s (though to be perfectly honest I think there is a chance I will have MUCH nicer seats. I'll take Glen Beck's advice and pray on it and I'll update this if I get them). The nice thing about going to a game in Calgary though is I really have a good time no matter where I'm sitting.

It's not that every seat in the Pengrowth  Canadian Airlines Olympic Scotiabank Saddledome is a great seat, not by a long shot. The fact of the matter is I'm an Oilers fan and there is something about cheering for the road team in hostile territory that I love. Oh I know what it is, it's that I get to be a jerk if my team wins, and this year my team has a decent chance. I don't even have to say anything, just being in the building during a win makes me a jerk.

This cele would look much better in blue and orange

Now you're saying: "Okay Dan, what happens if the Oilers lose? Then what do you do you cocky piece of crap?" The answer is easy, despite what you may have read, I'm a hockey snob. I guarantee I can out hockey talk anyone in the Saddledome any night, and that includes those in the press box and certain members of the Flames management.

Have I riled you up yet Flames fans? Are you even still cheering for the Flames?

Anyway, I'm expecting a great game, just like the one I enjoyed on Thursday. Neither team is looking THAT strong right now, but one guy who is looking great is Oiler goaltender Nik Khabibulin. According to weird fringe stats, he is one of the best goalies in the league right now. In addition to goaltending this is one year where the Oilers actually look to be offensively more dangerous than the Flames. Needless to say, I'm excited for Saturday night.

This vet clearly watches too much Jersey Shore. Deadly fist pump though

Have I offended you? If so take this blog posting as a challenge. When you see the Oilers fan wearing the nicest jersey in the Saddledome, (1978 Wayne Gretzky Oilers jersey, dark, orange logo, no captain C) approach him and get ready to talk some hockey, and if you're impressed buy him a beer (freelance writing is not as profitable as you would think.).

Cheers and I hope you all enjoy the game as much as I'm sure I will!
Oh yeah, and follow me on Twitter, it could get fun. Check out Oiler Spill too if you have some spare time, but if you're reading this on Oiler Spill, check out PST Free Hockey, an equally awesome site.

EDIT: I got my wish, never doubt the pwer of prayer. I'm sitting in a box for the battle of Alberta in Calgary wearing an Oilers jersey. Yeah.