Thursday, October 21, 2010

What R U Watching 2nite?

By Dan Moser

First of all, we at Oiler Spill would like to wish former Edmonton Oilers goaltender Mikhail Shtalenkov a belated happy birthday. Mikhail turned 45 on October 20. Let us never forget his contributions to the team. Once an Oiler always an Oiler.
Is that a Preds mask?
What a beauty!
It feels like it's been forever since there was an Oilers game on television. Yeah, I'll probably peek in every now and then to the game but to be honest, the prospect of watching an entire 60 minutes of Minnesota Wild hockey is not something I look forward to. In short, that is not what the title of this post is referring to.
What's that stick? You want to score tonight? Let's discuss it after the game
The Flames are playing someone tonight, I think (okay, that's really irresponsible of me, I checked, it took me like 5 seconds, the Flames are playing the  Red Wings. Sorry). That should be an entertaining game, and even if it's not, I have Mark Giordano and Pavel Datsyuk in my pool (no PIMS don't count). Besides, who doesn't love watching a train wreck. Will I be watching this game though?

I must have lost my mind because I actually want to watch the Leafs and Rangers game. I'm looking forward to watching a Leafs game. I feel dirty now. Most people in the Toronto media are classifying this game as some kind of battle of the heavyweights, which to be honest I think is a waste of time. Yeah Colton Orr and Derek Boogaard are gigantic men who like to punch people, but to promote a hockey game based on two meat heads alone is crazy.

There is no guarantee the two will even drop the mits. If they do, there is an even smaller chance it is a fight worth watching, in all likelihood the fight will be over in under 10 seconds and who knows a hockey game might even break out. Don't take this the wrong way, I like fighting, I just think it is silly to promote a 60 minute hockey game using something that if it occurs will be under a minute long.

That was an unforced tangent, and that's not the reason I want to watch the Leafs tonight. There are three names in the game tonight who have a common thread: Mike Komisarek, Dion Phaneuf, and Sean Avery. THAT'S RIGHT LADIES (yeah right) AND GENTLEMEN IT'S THE CUTHBERT BOWL!

This game promises to have all the excitement of House of Wax, The Quiet, and Popular Mechanics for kids all in one! Clearly it's my love for TMZ style news an not my love of hockey that drives me to want to watch this game. It will likely be a shit game.

In case you didn't know, all three have at some point dated the worlds most popular puck bunny, Elisha Cuthbert. Further adding to her resume, everyone's favorite B-lister once played Kiefer Sutherland's daughter on the show 24. Sutherland, as we have been told by the Ultimate Gretzky DVD set, is a close friend of Wayne Gretzky's.

Hopefully some words are exchanged, obviously off camera no one wants to end up in rehab, and if they are then we should be able to see the hate on the ice. Other than that both teams are playing their backup goalies and I'm waiting for the leafs to play a lousy game already and come back down to Earth.

Remember kids, seconds are sloppy, but thirds are sloppier

Like I said earlier, I feel unclean now and need to go take multiple showers. What's worse, is I can't take too long cleaning myself otherwise I might miss the opening faceoff of the Cuthbert Bowl. Shudder.

Okay, I have to stop now. Rachel Hunter is in the other room getting jealous. Yeah that's right, she has moved on from hockey players to hockey bloggers. Can't wait till next month when she is dating Lowtide or Putting on the Foil or Loud Mouth Hemsky and I get to hold a press conference asking why it seems like the players in the Oilogosphere seem to be obsessed with falling in love with my sloppy seconds. Oh and Go Oilers by the way.

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